Some Big, Spiritual, Thing-a-ma-jig

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A READING OF “SOME BIG, SPIRITUAL, THING-A-MA-JIG”

You have probably already sensed it, but in case you haven’t you should know that we are experiencing some big, spiritual, thing-a-ma-jig right now. It’s some strange and powerful energy blast hitting all of us, which might be emanating from the Humma Kavula Star Cluster; we really don’t know to tell you the truth. This powerful energy blast combined with whatever is in retrograde at the moment is causing some serious disturbance’s in all our lives by disrupting our thoughts, emotions, decisions and pretty much anything else that just feels out of whack. Your chakras, third eyes, pendulums, crystals and tarot decks have no doubt been informing you by now, that something completely and utterly out of your control is happening to our planet and for this cause we have the effect of each and every one of our lives being completely off kilter. It really doesn’t matter when you are reading this for it to be the case.

 

You see, there was a time before we could all be aware of these sorts of things at the same time; during the dark ages of spiritual information and dissemination. I speak of the time before the internet of course. Yes, during those times we were all forced to experience this existence as individuals with individual thoughts and individual feelings. It was like knuckle-dragging to trust in our own intuition and make decisions for our highest good based solely on our first-hand experience and knowledge. Bleak were the days when our spiritual schools of thought were not like Baskin Robbins and the ultimate goal in Life was to simply be happy and find that happiness nowhere else but within. As if that wasn’t bad enough, the happiness within had to be found without the input of anyone else. Can you imagine how grievous such a thing was, way back when?

 

Now though, with the advent of the internet and a plethora of social media thingies; we have created our very own Meta-munity:

Meta-munity -noun-

Definition of Meta-munity

  1. A community of metaphysical/spiritual practitioners or acolytes.
  2. A community of those of the belief that organized religion is antiquated due to its usage of certain scriptures, prayers, relics and rituals.
  3. A community of people who practice their spiritual life through certain scriptures, prayers, relics and rituals.
  4. A community of metaphysical/spiritual practitioners and acolytes who tend to believe that telepathy, telekinesis, accessing collective consciousness and other supernatural abilities are accessible by the third eye, chakra system etc. etc…
  5. A community of metaphysical/spiritual practitioners and acolytes who share and disseminate their information rigorously via smart phones, wi-fi, apps and social media.
  6. A community of metaphysical/spiritual practitioners and acolytes that profess one’s own intuition or “gut feeling” is the best standard for navigating decisions in life.
  7. A community of metaphysical/spiritual practitioners and acolytes that utilize a myriad of oracular devices (tarot cards, pendulums, spirit guides, psychic readings from mediums etc. etc.) to navigate the decisions they make in life.

Meta-munity -verb-

  1. The act of being immune from regular bowel movements after having consumed massive quantities of Metamucil.

 

 

Thanks to the coagulation of the this meta-munity, events such as the current big, spiritual, thing-a-ma-jig no longer go unnoticed by each of us as individuals and we are appropriately informed of when to collectively freak out with hashtags telling us some of the ways in which we should be collectively freaking out. For example in our current situation, and as best as we can track down, everything was fine, everything was roses, everything was smooth sailing until Barbara Jenkins (AKA: High Priestess Gertrude of Thermopylae in the Meta-munity) of Tulsa, Oklahoma woke up in the wee hours to go to the loo. As she stumbled down the hallway, half asleep, she stubbed her toe on a clunky plastic toy left in the dark by Joey Goldstein, a six year old boy she babysits to make extra income outside of her online, pixie-dust, tarot readings and “life coaching”. After stubbing her toe, going to the loo and realizing that there was only one ply left on the roll; the rest of the day was down hill for Barbara Jenkins. Once she had taken the time to seriously meditate on the events of her morning (about the amount of time it took her to completely down her first organic latte of the day) it occurred to her that there was some big, spiritual, thing-a-ma-jig that must be happening and that had to explain why her morning and day had up until that point been absolute bollocks.

 

With her pre-determined explanation in mind, she took to her favorite methods of divination such as tracking the planets with a handy, dandy smart phone app and confirming her suspicions by reading the bottom of a Snapple bottle top. Sure enough, her pre-determined explanation for what was happening was confirmed as she read real fact #903 which states “The first T.V. toy commercial aired in 1946 for Mr. Potato Head”. With such profound confirmation from the Uber-verse that her pre-determined explanation was correct, she proceeded to inform all her followers on social media, her pixie-dust tarot reading and life coaching clients and everyone on her live stream that she had been informed by her spirit guides, Lord Metatron and Bob Hoskins, that indeed we are going through some big, spiritual, thing-a-ma-jig. Thankfully for all of us, it spread like wildfire and collectively we can agree that none of our lives are supposed to be stable, content or filled with bliss at the moment or for the foreseeable future as we do not have a definite end date for this energy blast from the Humma Kavula Star Cluster. At best, what we can do is continue to hit refresh on whichever internet platform happens to be serving as our magic 8 ball for the day and wait for someone in the meta-munity to tell us its all over.

 

In case you are unsure if this big, spiritual, thing-a-ma-jig is having an effect on you, here are some of the symptoms/signs to be on the lookout for:

 

  1. Your emotions will fluctuate throughout the day.
  2. You will have negative thoughts.
  3. You will have positive thoughts.
  4. Things during your day will go wrong.
  5. Things during your day will go right.
  6. Your body will ache in certain places.
  7. Your body will feel perfectly fine in certain places.
  8. You will not be able to think clearly.
  9. You will be able to think clearly.
  10. You will encounter difficult people.
  11. You will encounter cooperative people.
  12. You will encounter people.
  13. Your divination tools will confirm the big, spiritual, thing-a-ma-jig.
  14. Your divination tools will disavow the big, spiritual, thing-a-ma-jig. In this instance don’t trust them. It’s a trick due to the big, spiritual, thing-a-ma-jig!

 

While this is by no means an exhaustive list of what to be mindful of, it is an excellent blueprint for you to determine for yourself whether or not the big, spiritual, thing-a-ma-jig is washing over your free will, personal responsibility for your thoughts and emotions and ability to do personal, spiritual cultivation all on your own. If you are experiencing the effects of this current energy blast and due to that are freaking out with the rest of the meta-munity, stay calm and be confident that unlike the tenants of the outdated organized religions of the world; there is going to be some elusive, outside entity, entities or force coming along very shortly that will straighten all this out for us. Any minute now. Maybe even before you finish this sentence.

 

Some of you may be saying to yourselves “but, I don’t sense this big, spiritual, thing-a-ma-jig. What’s wrong with me?” and that’s perfectly fine. All that really means is that you simply aren’t spiritually mature enough to sense it on your own. The first step in rectifying this is to abandon the idea that you are an individual and adopt the philosophy that individuality is in fact, overrated and quite inefficient in light of the much-preferred collective consciousness/hive mind of the meta-munity. You, as an individual, simply do not have the capacity to experience, observe and interpret what happens in your life all by yourself. You certainly don’t have the ability to change any of it as an individual and therefore must move toward the direction of putting your faith in the combined knowledge and guidance of the meta-munity. You can begin to do that by following gurus in the meta-munity who are much more spiritually evolved than you and have this whole thing figured out. The best way to find those gurus is by determining who among them have the largest social media following, flashiest graphics on their live streams and videos and tend to charge the most for their private readings and consultations. After all, if it doesn’t come with a price tag is it really worth anything to begin with? Once you find your guru/gurus of choice, the most critical step is to go into and remain in a state of constant suspended disbelief. This makes it much easier for you to hear and understand the process of world building from your particular guru/gurus. While this process may be difficult for some of you still attached to the old ways of critical thinking; once achieved, a sigh of relief will resonate from your spirit as you accept that fate and circumstance are no longer in your clumsy hands. Trust that your guru/gurus are not building their own religion or church as they travel the globe to sacred groves, ley lines and temples with your donations to lock/unlock or alter timelines or realms of the Uber-verse in drug induced rituals they received from the Uber-verse after eating a hearty bowl of Lucky Charms. If you have yet to sense the big, spiritual, thing-a-ma-jig after finding your guru/gurus of choice and imbibing the storyline they are offering you to partake in; it simply means that you are still too much in your ego and are hanging on to the notion that individuality is a rare, precious and necessary vehicle for you to experience this life and reality. Give it up already. Get spiritual and just let go of that. Once you do and allow the meta-munity to guide and determine your destiny things will still not make sense, but at least it won’t be your fault.

 

A few other things you can do to get more spiritual is approach it like the game room in the basement of a comic book convention where a multitude are sitting at tables playing D & D, Magic: The Gathering and occasionally Heroclix. Purchase as many high-ranking accessories to metaphysics as you can and google tips, tricks, strategies and cheat codes for whatever world you have accepted from your guru/gurus. Make sure that after you do, you allow others in the meta-munity to believe that when you speak or act on a particular metaphysical level, it is from a place of personal authenticity and experience rather than something you purchased online or an article you scrolled halfway through while you were waiting in line at the DMV. Also, and this is key, stop listening to the still, small voice inside of yourself and get in the habit of putting critical decision making onto physical objects outside of yourself. This makes it much easier to sardonically shrug when things in your life or the lives of people your decisions effect go awry. Personal responsibility and egoic single-mindedness have no place in this new age of the collective consciousness in the meta-munity. The sooner you come to this idea the better it will be for you and the rest of us. It’s really simple; lower your mental shields and surrender your ego so that your spiritual and intellectual distinctiveness can be added to our meta-munity. Your spiritual and intellectual capacities will service us. Resistance is futile.

 

Once you have taken the appropriate steps, many of which have been articulated here, then you too will begin to sense the big, spiritual thing-a-ma-jig which is happening regardless of time or space. It is a wonderous stream devoid of accountability, personal responsibility and required individual discipline just waiting for you to wade into. It has no beginning and as far as Barbara Jenkins can tell, has no end. Make sure you carry all of your baggage into it, so you get to the bottom of this thing as fast as possible. Join the rest of us in the meta-munity as we shed ourselves of the shackles organized religion has placed on us with their dogma and morals by making up completely new ones. May all of your spirit guides, gurus and allegorical but literal gods and goddesses assist you in traversing this big, spiritual, thing-a-ma-jig!

 

A SONG TO PLAY US OUT:

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D.L. Crumpton
About D.L. Crumpton 58 Articles
Daniel Louis Crumpton, author of the groundbreaking novel Then Came the Flood (Westbow Press), has written extensively since his debut in 2012 in the areas of philosophy, spirituality, alternative history and politics with a complete lack of reverence or dogmatism that those areas often demand. His writing has been featured on ZENINTHECAR.COM, OCHELLI.COM, THE LIBERTYBEACON.COM, DOWNLOADEDCONTENT.COM amongst many others. His views, ideas, insights and humorous perspectives on current social and political issues have been heard on internationally and nationally syndicated radio broadcasts such as Ground Zero with Clyde Lewis, Lighting the Void with Joe Rupe, The Ochelli Effect with Chuck Ochelli, The Vinny Eastwood Show and soon Coast to Coast with George Noory. Daniel Louis Crumpton’s ongoing experimental, introspective and conscious streamed writings, podcasts, videos and interviews can be found collected at DOWNLOADEDCONTENT.COM.

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